


The Pizza Story

by DiqazonQueen



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:26:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiqazonQueen/pseuds/DiqazonQueen
Summary: Gabriel and Eugene give a whole new meaning to Pizzagate, involving a kiddie pool. No need for a love quadrangle after all.





	The Pizza Story

He was alone in the woods, with just a kiddie pool and a number of ingredients. It was the middle of the night, so hopefully no one would come looking for him. If anyone even cared, that was. 

Winter had passed and they were now on the cusp of summer. It was warm enough at night that someone could sneak out after everyone else had gone to bed, get naked, and do unspeakable things with RJ’s old kiddie pool and stolen groceries. 

He stripped down and tossed his clothes to the side before stepping into the kiddie pool. He reached for one of the gallon jugs of tomato sauce he had sitting next to the pool and steadied his shaking hands before dumping it over his head. The thick red sauce drenched his hair and dripped into his eyes, blurring his vision so he didn’t notice someone approaching. 

“Eugene, what in God’s name are you doing?” asked an astounded Father Gabriel. 

Eugene stood exposed before the priest, bathed in moonlight, and covered in pizza sauce. 

“N-n-nothing,” he stammered. 

“You don’t fool me. You’re turning yourself into a human pizza,” Father Gabriel told him. 

“I cannot deny that claim.” Eugene hung his head in (no) shame. 

Gabriel pondered what to do for several long seconds. He had no excitement in his sorry life anymore. Rosita had (understandably) dumped him a few months ago so she could be with Siddiq and their adorable baby son, Pizza Abraham Espinosa. Now, all Gabriel did was wander the woods at night like he had early onset dementia, and cry. But he never expected to be faced with a naked Eugene about to turn himself into a human pizza. 

The Father (not the father) finally decided that this could be the most fun he’d had in a while. He too removed his clothing. Only God could judge him now. 

“Leave the collar on,” Eugene said when Gabriel moved to take it off. Gabriel nodded and got into the pool with the other man. The traditional Italian pizzeria music started playing. 

Eugene picked up a second jug of tomato sauce and poured it out onto Gabriel, emptying another gallon all over himself. He passed yet another one to Gabriel. Eugene had brought six jugs with him, even though he wasn’t expecting company, so they each had three gallons of pizza sauce to shower themselves in. Soon, both men were positively dripping in tomato goodness. They were now ready for cheese. 

Eugene and Gabriel became progressively more aroused as they threw handful after handful of shredded mozzarella on each other. The sexual tension was rising like pizza crust in the oven, and so was something else. Actually, somethings, plural. 

Once they were both thoroughly coated in sauce and cheese, Eugene tried to grab the pepperoni slices, sitting in a bowl on the ground with the rest of the toppings, when Gabriel stopped him. Eugene farted in surprise and looked at the priest confusedly. Gabriel then leaned in and kissed him hard. It was Eugene’s first kiss, and it sent him falling backwards, his feet sliding in the tomato sauce on the slippery bottom of the little pool. 

A few minutes later, a dazed Eugene Porter was flat on his back in the kiddie pool, naked, hard, and covered in tomato sauce and shredded cheese, while Father Gabriel strategically placed pepperoni slices on his body. Eugene never imagined his first sexual encounter to be anything like this, but at least he was having one, just when he was certain he would die a virgin. 

Gabriel added mushrooms, olives, and chunks of sausage to his slutty little pizza while Eugene moaned and whimpered pathetically. The Italian pizzeria music intensified. 

Eventually, Gabriel ran out of toppings. With his own naked body smeared in pizza sauce and bits of mozzarella, the Father admired the sight before him. Eugene looked like a take-and-bake from Papa Murphy’s, but with naked skin under the sauce, cheese, pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, and olives, along with an erect chode poking through. 

“I think this pizza is almost done,” Gabriel mused, playing with his tomato- and cheese-stained clerical collar, still the only article of clothing on his body. “Could use a little bit of the secret ingredient, though.” 

Without preamble, the priest started jacking off himself and Eugene while he ate toppings off the other man’s nipples, like he was a one-man band playing “Father Abraham”. Before long, twin steams of white sauce erupted forth and gave Eugene the pizza a bonus layer of tasty flavor. 

Eugene and Father Gabriel lay panting in the kiddie pool for a little while, until they realized that the sun was starting to come up and they had to get back to Alexandria. Gabriel got out of the pool and silently offered his hand to Eugene. He took it and the two of them set out on their way, Eugene leaving a trail of pizza toppings behind them. 

Unbeknownst to them, Alpha was spying the whole time and playing with her rotten coochie. 


End file.
